My trip to the Orient with the Waz, Redneck and Rockin Russell Luv Mussell

Maybe you guys haven't noticed but the 4 of us have been out of town. Sorry we didn't call to tell you where we were going but it was sort of a spur of the moment thing. See, we were over on G-wing drinking and we saw the infomercial on the asian network. Waz, Redneck and Russell just had to call the 800 number and next thing you know we were on a plane. The Organization let me be their trainer because of my medical background.

Watch the video. This is some amazing shit.


So, you can imagine that I was pretty popular over there because of the massive amounts of morphine that I stole from the pharmacy before I left. We ain't got no pharmacist so they let the nurses check out the narco's all the time. That kid in the ceiling has a key too and he lets me in when I run out. Anyway, back to the story... Redneck and Russell did great with their training and graduated to the bus group. I think that Redneck probably toughened up his crotch with the rash. The Waz, well he he turned out to be quite a puss about the whole thing and zigged when he should have zagged and spent the rest of the trip with an ice pack in his pants. Poor sucker. The Organization wouldn't give him his money back but they told him that he could come back next year and try again.

We should all be back soon provided the guys can get through customs with their new weight bags and wearing their skirts.

I'm thinking about asking Jane if we can start a program like this at Hospital World and Redneck is ready to make the moves on Buckethead again. He's sure that she's gonna be into him now that he has this new skill.

BB

Love Me Tender

Waz and I held a party in the courtyard. He doesn't remember because he is an alcoholic and is suffering from blackouts - thank God I had my camera phone. Too bad I got too busy dancing with him to get a naked photo. It wasn't too long after this one was taken that Waz starting stipping for Mrs. Silverman in 121A.

Waz - you're a party animal!!

What a weekend!

I have had one hell of a weekend let me tell you. First, I went out with my friend Lola because she said that she had a hook up for me. I met this redneck guy who was in town for an audit. His friend Russell was Lola's date. She said that he was gay, but I don't know. He was very well groomed but he was staring at Lola like she was a goddess. His eyes were all dilated and glassy when she walked in the room. Anyway, me and redneck guy went to his room. It smelled kind of funky in there but I just took a shot of whiskey and lit a cigarette and then I couldn't smell it anymore. Redneck guy made me his "special" drinks - I don't know what was in them but they were sweet. We started making out and wow was he a good kisser because in a few minutes I started getting dizzy and flush with excitement. I can't really remember what happened after that but when Lola woke me up, the mattress was on the floor and my charred clothes were in the bathtub soaking. I borrowed one of redneck guys western style shirts (which looked kind of cool with my ostrich cowgirl boots) and Lola and I left. I went home and slept it off.

The next morning at 8:00am Devon called me and was in a panic. He said that the two illegal families that we have been renting rooms on G-wing to had a party and that he thought that Jane and Buckethead might have found out. I had to meet him there immediately to clean up the mess and get the families relocated temporarily. I threw on Redneck guys shirt, some leggings and my boots and headed out to Hospital World. What a mess those bastards made! Apparantly they had a quincenera right there on G-wing. SHIT!!!

We got it cleaned up sufficiently and Devon and I headed out for the bar. We moved the families into the Crusty for a few nights until this blows over.

When I got home from the bar, I checked my work e-mail to see if Jane had noticed anything. Luckily, she hasn't said anything yet but the WAZ pulled through for me on the camera shots of Sharky's office. WAZ is the man!!!!

I got you now, Sharky, you son of a bitch! I think that I'll have a nightcap and call it a weekend.

Hello, my name is Belinda Biatche, RN and I'm an alcoholic...

Hello, my name is Belinda Biatche and I'm an alcoholic.

My name is pronounced Bee-ahh-tch-eh NOT bitch! I'm also a nurse and the Chief Nursing Officer for this cancer you all call a hospital. I am generally in a bad mood because - you guessed it - I'm a nurse!! What the fuck was I thinking when I joined the military and decided to become a nurse? I thought that I'd get to wear a cute little white outfit and marry some dashing doctor that would sweep me off of my feet. Huh! All I got was an alcoholic asshole husband who beat me up whenever he got the chance; sore feet from standing on them all day and bad case of hemorrhoids from all of the major pains in my ass.

I subsidise my measly salary that you losers pay me by renting out my low income homes. You wouldn't believe the stuff that people want you to fix when you are a landlord. "Fix the hole in my wall...My water doesn't work...granny's going to have a heat stroke if you don't fix the A/C."

I'd go work someplace else if I could, but I drink all day long and no one in this hell hole seems to notice. I think that the CFO drinks in her office too. She's always talking to someone who ain't there!

Some days I just can't stand it. They (that damn CEO and the drunk CFO) want me to actually do MATH. They're always asking what my nursing hours are. I don't know what they mean. I tried to count the hours of nurses there were and when I told them 160 they just about crapped themselves. Now I've got to try to find a staffing book somewhere. Does anyone know what it looks like?

I may be drunk and I may not be able to count good, but I can tell you one thing...I know how to do some nursing. I am the stone cold mo fo when it comes to taking care of the patients. No one is going to tell me that my nurses do anything wrong because it just ain't so.

That Sharky guy mentioned a letter about a patient's ass stinkin - guarantee if it did it was the therapists fault cuz it wasn't a nurse!!!! No way - would never happen. I'll cut him some slack because he's new and he doesn't know how perfect the nurses are yet - he'll learn quick I'm sure.

I gotta go - got lots of TPAPN paperwork to fill out.

Belinda Biatche, RN